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"What's your buggest fear?" she asked
But we both knew the answer before it came out.
She was running her hands through her homemade mess of a mohawk. I took a deep breath as I opened my eyes, and really took her in. She was odd. I could see why others called her pretty, beautiful, and trustworthy. I couldn't use those words to describe her, no matter how hard I tried.
She was rough. She had a tendency to fall first and look for stability later. She wanted to find herself, but she was looking in all the wrong eyes and souls.
I knew she was brave. She did things she never thought she would, went places I had never heard of. The stories she had were intriguing at best, but she was never very good at sticking with a plot.
I took a deep breath as I formed my fears and deep worries into awkward language. I feared being alone above everything else, and she knew that well. As I exhaled I looked at her stature, and the goofy way she cocked her joints as she asked questions. I forced a smile and said "I'm working on eliminating as many fears as I can from my mind."
She nodded and shifted her weight to the other hip. "What about love?"
The question hit me hard. I knew she wasn't forming an attack, she was just testing my honesty. We knew our honesty with others, but it was harder between us. We had lied so many times, and our relationship never really hit even ground for a continuous amount of time.
"I'm working on loving myself, I want to believe what others say" I responded as bravely as I could, but I couldn't make eye contact, so I stared down at the faucet handles.
"One more time, and some feeling would be nice" she jeered. Why did she have to poke fun?
I looked up at the mirror, and saw her face begging for honesty. She needed to hear that I loved her, she needed to know how brave I thought she was.
Her whole body moved with the relief of a sigh as I turned away. I flipped the switch as we left the bathroom, not looking back at the reflective glass on the wall.