I want to be happy in the body I have. I want to wake up and feel thankful for the muscles and bones that help me move forward.
This journey started as a way for me to find my happiness. I kept thinking about what made me happy, and came up with very few answers. I couldn't see the silver lining as easily as I used to. I kept questioning the worth of my light at the end of the tunnel, and would find myself sitting in the dark instead of walking into the light.
Mental health is a constant process. As a culture, we are supplied with therapists and medications that can help one problem but create others.
After years of trying prescriptions, and talking with my close friends, I decided I want to try a clean slate. I had a birth control implant in my arm that was making my depression days feel like there was no way out of the dark tunnel, no matter how much light was at one end.
Two days ago, I had the implant removed. Looking back now, the past six months make so much more sense. The side effects really attacked my energy, my hope, and my will to keep moving forward. The easiest things felt impossible, my happiness always under a thick fog of numbness.
Really pay attention to the listed side effects. Ask the nurse, doctor, and if possible, another patient on the same drug about the changes they have noticed. Try alternate routines, try new things with your diet, add in more excersize. Try some alternatives, and know there is always someone out there that wants to help. Take care of yourself, because I love you, and I want you to love yourself as well.