Gifting as a means of sustaining

"That's your world, isn't it?" A lady asked, pointing at my backpack.

"Yes, it is. It's everything I need" I responded.

I have always been someone who cycles through their clothing and items, at least twice a year. When I had a full wardrobe, if I loved an item, but hadn't used it in over a year, I knew it's time to donate it or give it away. Maybe someone else will love that item as much as I did. I am constantly looking at my pack, and deciding what I will, wont, or might use. I'm constantly using this as a way to focus my energy on what I have, because if I have it, I have to carry it.

Putting the weight of what I own on my back has been a liberating and eye opening situation. I was used to the things I becoming stagnant and doing very little to me, but I held onto them for the sake of owning them. Like I have stated before, I do still have stuff in boxes people are holding onto for me. Though their weight is not on my back, it's on my mind: It still has some affect on me. One of the hardest things for me to cycle through have been gifts I have received throughout the years.

Gifts have always been a big part of my life. My mother would use any holiday as an excuse for gifting, be it Saint Patricks Day, Valentine's, or Christmas. It was obvious that giving gifts brought her the most joy, sometimes more than receiving them. Since I have have been travelling, gifting has become a huge focus of other people to help me keep moving. Money as a way of life has changed from a river to a trickling creek.Travel was a seed that has blossomed into a garden of discovery.

My Original pack was gifted to me by a wonderful friend who wanted to be sure I was safe and dry. She also bought me a waterproof cover and a gortex jacket, and made my original leaving date in Washington lovingly memorable. As I was preparing for this post, I realized that a lot of the things in my pack were gifted to me. I've been slowly learning and transitioning into the gift economy. Money still trades well for some needs, but is no longer my only form of currency. Another thing I have learned is that keeping a gift turns it into capitol. When I look at my pack and see all of my items, I get to constatly ask myself it they would be more helpful to someone else (like the West Coast map I gave to a fellow couch surfer who was motorcycling the US). 

I do still need a list of things, so I offer to work, or put it out in the universe that I need something. An alternative to placing an amount on the work I do, I can ask for one of those items as a trade. I also have to unlearn that getting a gift comes with an exchange of some kind. Sometimes, people just want to give and not receive anything more than a thank you.

Below is a picture of most of my gifts, and the one below that is of gifts I didn't directly ask for. It blows me away realizing how much has been given to me. Showing these images is a way for me to realize the good that keeps coming to me. Some days are really difficult and I want to give up this adventure, but looking at the mark left on me by others is grounding, as well as calming. The world is full of selfless people, and in my current and future gifting, I aim to be as helpful and humble as possible. Thank you all for everything you have given me, be it visible, mental, or emotional. Not all gifts are things that I can carry. Not pictured are all the meals I have been given, couches I have been offered, smiles that have warmed me, and deep conversations that have taught me more than I ever realized I could learn by walking out my front door.

Ripley the boxer mutt for scale