Stop focusing on what you don't have and focus on that which you do. Stop wanting, thinking and shoulding.
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Lately the most I can write are journal entries. I'm starting small, and keeping it simple. I'm not going to revise these, I'm just going to get out what is bursting from inside me.
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I am sitting at District Donuts in Lakeview. It's confusing, because you may think I'm near Seattle, when in reality, I'm on the outskirts of New Orleans. I'm waiting for my soon-to-be manager to walk through the doors and start my orientation. I was nearly late to the set time, but he was caught up, and is still on his way. I was able to get a chocolate milk donut and a tart lemonade. I'll be cashiering for this lovely company that is extremely community based and full of lively humans.
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Two weeks ago, my Birthday Buddy sent me a box full of clothes from Tukwila. Some of the items were ones I had loaned her back in February. Two items that have quickly become my favorites (besides the glorious Thriller sweater my Possum Friend gave me) are a jean jacket and some glorious geanie pants. My Soul Sister also sent me a package of clothes I had left with her, and It's such an odd feeling to have a full wardrobe. I didn't believe others when they mentioned I lost weight, but no when I try on old clothes, I just sigh and nod.
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I changed a flat tire on thanksgiving, and I now laugh at my annoyance. Comparing patching a tire inside a house with a floor pump, to the side of the highway after a long day and only a hand pump is worlds apart. Though it may difficult, it's worth looking past what I want and what I have. I want impenetrable tires, but i understand reality, and I have a warm house with a roof and all the supplies I need.
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Keep changing your viewpoint. Question your moods and frame of mind. Love yourself more. Sleep well.
Jennise